Let me get this strait.... He got a 'tan' playing touch football in Wisconsin on Sunday the 26th ... However, was seen was said 'tan' in Bedford, Mass. on Friday the 24th... hummm... The only thing that I can come up with is that he has a time machine... That or he is having another Botox moment.

Yup. See what I mean? All he had to do was 'fess up. Yes, I tried to make myself look better and sc**wed up royally. That's all. He could of laughed about it. He could have appeared almost human - someone who should have had much better advice than your average bear admitting to such a dumb mistake...but NO!

...makes my skin crawl.

Aw come on now, ya'll, that Wisconsin sun can be just brutal this time of year! No, wait, that's how it still is here.

The man is a millionaire. There are make up people in Hollywood who specialize in in gettnig that sun kissed look and he opted for a bottle of cheapie Walgreen's brand of Tan-U-Rite?

And I am supposed to trust THIS guy with the red button....

Well, why not... Afterall, this the same man carrying around a briefcase with a secret compartment containing a HAT which was supposedly given to him by someone from the clandestine services of the Central Intelligence Agency during a fictional mission into Cambodia. Surely if the people of the country will buy into that, then why not a facial tan acquired during a touch football game 2 days after acquiring said tan.

I was thinking however... there might be a pretty good opportunity here for Kerry if the Presidential thing doesn't work out.... Syracuse University might be in the need for a new mascot...He'll just have to have an anatomy reduction a'la Ken doll in order to be PC with the rest of the school.

Now THAT is orange! ;)

Michael Savage said it looks like 'Man Tan'.

I think that is an old product... before my time.

Someone has to ask the obvious question.

Orange you glad he's not the President?

Well orange ya?

ha! orange you glade...thats funny. you win papertiger.

ManTan! It is old. My brother tried it once and he looked like a freak for a week...the palms of his hands were dark orange-brown...very natural.

John Kerry, naval orange.

I love the pictures of JK playing football.

Geez, this guy is SOOOOOO down to earth. Look at him out playing football. What a charmer.

I want to BASH HIS TEETH IN!!!!

Ummm, don't know where that came from, but heck, I'm sticking with it!

Hey, I know the leaves in Massachusetts are famous for their fall colors, but this is ridiculous!

As per Val from Tex's request (and a bit of arm twisting)
*(sung to the tune of Margaritaville)

I don't know the reason
They're out to get me this season
Just cuz I showed off this TANG memo
It's the real McCoy
Not an MS Word ploy
How the bloggers could doubt me I haven't a clue...

Slipping down in the polls in Minnesota
Wisconsin is fading away
Some people claim Karl Rove is to blame,
but I know...
It's all Clinton's fault!

It blew up on ol' Flip Flop
This CBS smear plot
the only thing's sure is the memo's not true,
Dan Rather surrendered
in the blogosphere blender
The worm has definitely turned back on you.

Campaign is on the skids up in Michigan
New Hampshire, Maine, and Oregon too.
Some people claim Mary Mapes is to blame,
but I know...
It's all Hillary's fault.

Who is he trying to fake?
Claiming that tan is sun-baked;
Even CBS Dan sees your covered with oil.
Big John has an AK , he picked up in Versailles.
inscription says, "Comrade Kerry, Merci Beaucoup"

Wasted away again in Maryland,
Searchin' for a campaign toadie to fault.
Ol' JFK claims
there's someone else to take the blame
But I know...
it's Slick Willie's fault.

By Alan, Val, and Mr. Peepers

No, no, he should be the mascot for the University of Texas! We could supe-glue some horns on him and he would look just like Bevo!

What do you think, UT grad? (aka my twin sister in France)

Papertiger,
ROFLMAO! Its that California air isn't it? Its orange too I hear...

Get that song posted on Freep! They'll love it.

Well, Bevo looks long in the face, true, but much purtier than that JoKer feller.

Hook 'em Horns!

but I don't even know how to spell "Merci Beaucoup" or "Versailles". And yet it comes out perfect.
I smell a spellchecker.

Papertiger,
YOU ARE SUPERB!!
I thought the first version was clever, THAT is pure genius! It is something in the air out there!

Bravo! Bravo! Stomp feet, cheering, jumping up and down and clapping in delight like any good Parrothead. For you sad souls who don't know, devotees of Jimmy Buffett are called Parrotheads.

Val,
Oh, my word yes! Even Bevo's back-end looks better than Kerry's front. Granted Bevo's back end produces the same product as Kerry's front view...

Bevo, the longhorn steer that is the proud mascot of the University of Texas.

It's a miracle, Paper. Call Rome! We have a self-correcting blog here! Get the Pope on his cellphone now!

Call CBS, they'll run with it for sure!

Val

I would like to post it at Freep, but it's sort of a members only type deal over there. I feel comfortable posting whatever clap trap comes to mind here because this is my home away from home.
Over there it's sort of bewildering, what with all the topics and different forums.
Just the word forum makes me itch.
Like they have a special category for people to b*tch about Democrats but the rant must include thw "word of the day". They have a poetry section. They have a "links to bloggers" section.

My eyes are spinning, and I haven't even started the registration process yet.
Are you a member of the free republic by any chance?

Paper, same here. I only lurk there. It's a madhouse...

I thought maybe you were already a Freeper...

I think the News/Activism page would be best for your song...or maybe do a search for 'Kerry' and see where they're posting funny things about him. The oompa loompa stuff yesterday was in news/activism...

Let me know what you end up doing. ;)

Daisy Cutter's been posting pictures of some of Kerry's more memorable sporting moments from time to time. The bunny suit wasn't his "Dukakis moment" - he's a perpetual Dukakis moment!