NYC Letter: Open Letter To His Royal Heinie, Prince Charles

Dear Your Royal Highness Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wales, KG, KT, GCB, OM, AK, QSO, PC, ADC, Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles and Prince and Great Steward of Scotland, (Short pause.) Vice-Admiral Royal Navy, Air Marshall Royal Air Force, Lieutenant General Army, Colonel-In-Chief The The Royal Regiment of Wales (24/41 Foot), Colonel Welsh Guards, Colonel-In-Chief Air Reserve of Canada, Colonel-In-Chief The 22nd Cheshire Regiment, Colonel-In-Chief Lord Strathcona's Horse (Royal Canadians), Colonel-In-Chief The Parachute Regiment, Colonel-In-Chief Royal Australian Armoured Corps, Colonel-In-Chief The Royal Gurkha Rifles, Air Commodore-in-Chief Royal New Zealand Air Force, Colonel-in-Chief The Royal Regiment of Canada, Colonel-in-Chief The Royal Winnipeg Rifles, Colonel-in-Chief The Royal Pacific Islands Regiment, Colonel-in-Chief The Royal Canadian Dragoons, Colonel-in-Chief Army Air Corps, Colonel-in-Chief The Royal Dragoon Guards, Honorary Air Commodore Royal Air Force Valley, Deputy Colonel-in-Chief The Highlanders (Seaforth, Gordons and Camerons), Royal Honorary Colonel The Queen's Own Yeomanry, Colonel-in-Chief The Black Watch (Royal Highland Regiment), Colonel-in-Chief The Queens Dragoon Guards, Colonel-in-Chief The King's Regiment, Colonel-in-Chief The Black Watch (Royal Highland Regiment) of Canada, Colonel-in-Chief The Toronto Scottish Regiment (Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother's Own), (Short pause.) President Society of Friends of St George's & Descendants of Knights of Garter, President The Prince's Trust, President United World Colleges, Commodore Royal Thames Yacht Club, High Steward Royal Borough of Windsor and Maidenhead, Chairman Queen's Silver Jubilee Trust, Chairman The Prince of Wales' Committee for Wales, Chancellor University of Wales, Patron The Press Club, Patron Transglobe Expedition, Patron WNO, Patron Royal School for the Blind, Patron Mary Rose Trust, et al., (Short pause.) Your Gracious Royal Heinie,

There's great excitement here about your upcoming American lecture tour. How very nice to spare America a little time for a royal wigging. We are all very excited. Several American people have told me they are planning to have their hair cut. Some are considering the wearing of shoes and others the purchase of a belt. Myself, I intend to iron a clean shirt and over-starch the collar. Did I mention we are all very excited.

PRINCE CHARLES TO PLEAD ISLAM'S CAUSE TO BUSH

October 29, 2005 (Telegraph) - Prince Charles, who is about to embark on his first official foreign tour since his marriage to the Duchess of Cornwall, wants Americans - including Mr Bush - to share his fondness for Islam.

Prince Charles has done more than any other member of the Royal Family in history to understand Islam. He said in 1994 that when he became Supreme Governor of the Church of England, he would rather be "defender of faiths" than "defender of the faith".

A year earlier Prince Charles made a speech, acclaimed throughout the Arab world, on relations between Islam and the West. He urged the West to overcome its "unthinkable prejudices" about Islam and its customs and laws.

He spoke warmly of the West's debt to the culture of Islam and distanced moderate Muslims from misguided militants. "Extremism is no more the monopoly of Islam than it is the monopoly of other religions, including Christianity," he said.

Oh my, yes, your royal heinie, but a remark in principle is not the same as a remark in proportion.

Today it is Islamites who are running around kidnapping, beheading, bombing, murdering, recruiting children to murder, openly calling for the destruction of whole peoples, and just being, well, rather extreme. Not too many Mennonites, Buddhists, or Episcopalians (Congratulations! You hold a tight lease on Anglican extremists.) are up to these pranks. Why even the cheerless Presbyterians are well-behaved.

The fabled moderate, law-abiding, and decent Muslims have done very little to distinguish themselves from their deranged co-religious.

When your capital was bombed this year, what there was of Muslim condemnation was drowned out by fears of possible discrimination and a possible backlash and just a lot of Islamic hurt feelings and fears of possible worse hurt feelings. But then that is how the smarties and sophisticates, which, of course, would include your royal exalted debonairness, have twisted up priorities: First pillows and hankies for the feeble feelings of Muslims, then have a look in the subway at those blown-apart Protestants and Hindus.

I missed reading where your granny canvassed the length and breadth of Britain during WWII counseling Britons that although Germany was waging war on Britons that the Germans were not Britain’s enemy, or her speaking warmly of Britain’s debt to Germanic culture, or her distancing the many moderate Germans from the few misguided militants overrunning Europe.

So, your royal exalted heinie, my guess is that what you call non-Muslims' "unthinkable prejudices" about Islam and its customs and laws, well, these are simply the cautions of kaffir who have decided to preserve their persons in the present instead of boning up on the Shahada for a bright future in some 14th century caliphate. Alas, once one has been blown to smithereens or has had one's throat cut and head removed or been otherwise thoroughly murdered, well, such difficulties make it hard to appreciate the nice distinctions you counsel.

Perhaps when everyone is agreed that murderous Islamites should be put down rather than chatted up, well, those distinctions will be easier to make.

Regards, your American buddy,

DGB

No titles. No ranks. No honors. No peerages. No patronages. No commissions. No offices. No estates. No trusts. No chairmanships. No presidencies. No memberships. No privileges. No jet. No yacht. No car. No Segway HT. No ponies. No dogs. No pets. No vassals. No subjects. No entourage. No aide-de-camp. No camp. No agent. No secretary. No dietician. No personal chef. No kitchen help. No maid. No astrologer. No motivational coach. No consorts. No heirs. No inheritances. No invitations for Christmas dinner. No book tours. No speaking engagements. No Vegas gigs. No reviews. No interviews. No photos. No autographs, please.