NYC Letter: "Crise Internationale" ! Où Est La Preuve Concrète ?

IRAN SANCTIONS 'DEPEND ON PROOF'

April 21, 2006 (BBC) - Russia has ruled out sanctions against Iran unless there is proof that its nuclear programme is not peaceful. Mikhail Kamynin of the foreign ministry said Russia would have to see "concrete facts" proving military intent.

The US is trying to rally support from UN Security Council members, including Russia, to back tougher action on Iran. The UN says there is so far no proof that Iran is seeking nuclear weapons - as suspected in the West - but nor has Iran proved that it is not.

"But nor"?

We wonder what sort of concrete Mr. Kamynin requires of the facts. Israel vaporized? Yes, that might do. Of course, keep in mind it took a full-blown invasion to disabuse the Russians about Mr. Hitler.

The US called on Russia to end assistance it is giving Iran with its civil nuclear programme, and to suspend a major arms sale to Tehran. Russia refused on both counts, and repeated its opposition to any military strike on Iran, which the US has not ruled out.

Ah, those wily Russians will have the necessary proof -- by virtue of supplying Iran with the very stuff of the facts to be proven.

"Sanctions can be discussed only when there are concrete facts showing that Tehran's nuclear activity is not exclusively peaceful," Mr Kamynin said in Moscow. "At the present time, the concerns of the international community over the Iranian nuclear program cannot be eased through sanctions and use of force."

No threat of sanctions. No threat of military action. Well, that leaves...what? Oh, the comfy chair! No, do it right. Cushions first, comfy chair later.

Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. Do you confess?
Wilde: I don't understand what I'm accused of.
Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!

[JARRING CHORD]

[Biggles holds out two ordinary modern household cushions]

Biggles: Here they are, lord.
Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.
Wilde: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!

[Biggles carries out this rather pathetic torture]

Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess!
Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord.
Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
Ximinez [angrily hurling away the cushions]: Hm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!

The "Crise Internationale" ! series can be followed here, here, here, here, here, and here.

We have a companion series, Chucklehead Diplomacy, running at Pave France. These can be found here, here, here, here, and here.