Pave: The Chore of Amour

We are biologically rigged to enjoy sex. Had nature not this foresight, it is probable that some of us might forget or neglect the rigors of propagation. By way of contrast, for example, we are not biologically rigged to enjoy washing the dishes or doing the laundry, which is why the sink is often full and shirts that pass a sniff test are given another day's wear.

Although low-birth France shorts the outcomes of propagation it does not neglect the mechanics. Government schemes and campaign gimmicks encourage the fruitless coit. Perhaps the government reasons that fewer French will make France easier to govern. Or perhaps the government's position is that when the French are busy making butter, they are not putting France to flame.

Ah, but even locked at the loins, the Frenchies are still not happy (see post below).

FRANCE FINDS ITSELF AMONG THE FLOPS IN THE LOVE LEAGUE

June 28, 2007 (Telegraph) - The French reputation for romance suffered a knock yesterday after a poll found it was one of the most frustrated nations in bed. A survey [by the condom maker Durex] held in 26 countries puts France second from bottom of the table in terms of sexual satisfaction, only trailed by Japan. Britain was around mid-table.

The poll of 26,000 people showed that while the French were near the top of the ratings in terms of sexual activity, having intercourse 120 times a year, and the number of orgasms, only a quarter of those questioned said they were "satisfied".

When the body orgasms, the brain lavishly distributes chemical candy. The brain aswim with dopamine and endorphin ensures that we feel good about the tricky business of conjugation. Yet, the French score high in orgasm but are post-coital mopes. [Thoughtful pause.] Are the French, as a class, biochemically deprived? [Slight pause.] It would explain a lot.

"A myth collapses," lamented Le Parisien. "The French lover's morale - and everything that goes with it - is at half mast."

We, unlike Le Parisien, will not use the occasion to make easy jest of the little French gentleman who does his job without support from the little French brain.

Jacques Waynberg, director of the French Institute of Sexology:

France and Japan have a long erotic tradition and are thus more demanding. As they raise the bar very high, it's only normal that they are more dissatisfied.

Oh, yes, as if coiting Frenchies contextualize themselves in France's "long erotic tradition".

Marianne: Ça va ?

Jack: Ça va. Ça va ?

Marianne: [Long sigh.] Ça va. [French pause (with cigarette).] Tu n'es pas Lord Auch.

Jack: Hein ? Bien, tu n'es pas exactement Anne Desclos.

Had the survey asked the question, do you satisfy your partner? ho ho, we bet the French would post exceptional numbers.

PFFT (What is this?): F*ck and funk 3¾ | Rayonnement français 0