Pave: Auld Lang Syne

Le jour 134 de Sarko

Remember when Then-Jack, Now Ex-Jack schemed to make France a hot multipolar player? Remember the end-runs around America? Banjaxing transatlantic institutions? Bullying American friends? The French huffery, the French puffery?

Ah, but middling France lacked the necessary heft for the grand pranking of Then-Jack's internationalism. Then-Jack needed some multipolar buddies. Germany was already on board in the fictile person of Gerhard Schroeder, but something more was needed. [Set-up pause.] Something sinister, scary.

That something was Russia, specifically the Russia of Vladimir "Don't Make Me Kill You" Putin. Vlad would play Bad Cop to Then-Jack's Inspector Clouseau with Gerry tagging along as the goofy Leo Getz.

To win Vlad over, Then-Jack offered him the boneless hand of French friendship. Next came the complimentary French schwag bag upgraded with a Grand Croix followed by an invite-only birthday party. As anyone who has been fawned on by the French will tell you, this sort of treatment -- properly catered -- is irresistible. Russia was in.

France, Germany, and Russia became inseparable. Then-Jack, his posse in place, was ready to rock the world...

[Abrupt needle scratch. Music out.]

...until France and Germany dumped Jack and Gerry,* rediscovering a natural transatlantic fit in the process.

Now here they are again, the three amigos. The chummy chums. The toy troika. The pocket counterweight. Reunited at the beck of the master chum to the resort city of Sochi, there to plash their toes in the littoral froth of the Euxine Sea.

PUTIN HOSTS OLD FRIENDS CHIRAC AND SCHROEDER

MOSCOW September 24, 2007 (China Post/AFP) - The former French and German leaders Jacques Chirac and Gerhard Schroeder arrived at Russia's Black Sea coastal resort of Sochi on Sunday as guests of President Vladimir Putin, the Kremlin said. Contacted by AFP, a Kremlin spokesman described the visit of the former French president and the former German chancellor as "private" and confirmed they had been invited by Putin.

So why were Jack and Gerry invited to Sochi? What important business is being discussed? [Pause.] Or did Vlad just miss the warm smooch of European lips on his cold Russian heinie?

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* Not before attempting a bizarre TV putsch.

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