Pave: The Chore of Amour Redux

Le jour 335 de Sarko

The French ask for help for everything!

JS,
French Pave correspondent,
private correspondence
Today

The little French gentleman does not appear up for the job.

FRENCH ASK BRITISH FOR HELP IN BED

PARIS April 13, 2008 (Times Online) - to put a bit of oomph back into their love lives, the French are turning national stereotypes on their head by seeking help from, of all people, les rosbifs.

In a curious reversal of roles, the new craze in France for chic designer boutiques offering tips to couples on how to spice up their sex life is being fuelled by erotic products from over the Channel.

... As an industry once dominated by pornographers becomes gentrified, warm and friendly love stores have been popping up in some of the most fashionable corners of Paris.

... [Anna Ciulla at Les Nuits Blanches] sells many products from Britain. "What Britain has that you don’t find here so much is a good sense of humour," she explained, holding up a British nurse’s uniform. "A sense of humour in bed is really important."

We will forbear the obvious punch line begging to inform why the French are so in need of a sense of humor in bed. [Pause.] Well, here is a clue.

DEFLATED
La dernière frontière de l'ennui

"This is not just for pleasure," [Patrick Pruvot, owner of Passage du Désir] added, brandishing one of the pink vibrators scattered over his desk. "It could help to salvage a marriage."

When love and commitment fail, a pink dildo will fill the breach. The loveless French require so little: two "D" batteries and eight inches of lively latex.

Pruvot, a 40-year-old former advertising executive, is one of a new breed of erotic entrepreneurs catering to what recent surveys have shown is a growing number of French couples complaining of boredom in bed.

Most of the toys he sells are designed in Britain but made in China. The gadget that amuses customers most, however, comes not from Britain but from Holland. It is a remote-controlled vibrator, usually "worn" by the woman and controlled by the man. It has a range of eight metres.

"It’s a great way of livening up a dull cocktail party or a dreary lunch with your wife and your mother-in-law," Pruvot said.

[Hat tip: Hervé]

And here we were thinking that bright intelligent conversation enlivened such occasions. [Pause.] But then here we were thinking the French brimming with intelligent conversation. [Pause.] Yes, well, joke's on us.

PFFT (What is this?): New low in French declinology 4½ | Très drôle 2 | Rayonnement français 0