NYC Letter: Jackass Roundup

Day 26 of CHOPE

Today is Valentine's Day, a day when sweetness is lifted up. [Pause.] Just the foil for a Jackass Revue.

First up, B-list* Ashley "Bug" Judd.

ASHLEY JUDD: BREATHLESS

January 27, 2009 (DCE) - Among the millions of people who are excited by the election of President Obama is Ashley Judd, as she demonstrated at the 40th birthday luncheon for NARAL Pro-Choice America at the Hilton Washington Tuesday.

After flubbing a few lines, Judd, who emceed the event, stopped and said, “I need to take a breath. I get so excited.”

After a brief slide show featuring Bush and other anti-abortion politicians, during which the crowd booed and hissed, Judd remarked:

It’s so nice to live in America again.

Where, we wonder, has Ms. Judd been residing if not at her residence in Williamson County, Tennessee? Where, we further wonder, has Ms. Judd largely been making her money if not from American audiences and American productions? Ms. Judd is a sunshine patriot. All-American when America is to her liking.

Now B-list** Cher:

I believe his [Mr. Obama's] intelligence is so great, and his spirit is so great, and I believe he will be able to do as much if not more than anyone could possibly do. I just think he is totally the right person at this time in our history. He brings something more in his, his spirit than maybe another president could be even with the same intelligence. There's something about him that brings more with his spirit and that's what Americans need right now.

Republicans almost killed me.

... You know what I have so...I could try to be charitable. And there are some really [Pause.] good Republicans but I just don't understand how anyone [Pause.] would want to be a Republican. I just can't figure it. I don't understand. If you're poor, if you're any kind of minority, gay, black, Latino, anything. If you're not a rich, [Pause.] I don't know. If you're not a rich born-again Christian, I don't get it.

Allahpundit at Hot Air remarks:

I’m straining for something incisive to say but it’s so dispiritingly predictable, from the faux melodrama of life in Bush’s gulag to the patronizing cultist fawning over The One’s “spirit,” that I’m at a loss. Doesn’t the entire entertainment establishment feel this way?

Poor Cher. Republicans are too much to figure. Even the "really good Republicans".

Finally, below the fold (language warning), perennial sub-card no-list* Janeane Garofalo in an interview with Ecorazzi, where her ignorance and stupidity go neck to neck but lose out to her runaway viciousness.

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* Average box office $34,206,551 (Cf. Arnold Schwarzenegger $70,519,146. Average of box office from movies in which actor appears, but does not necessarily star or draw.)

** Average box office $29,988,674

*** Of thirteen characters for the TV series 24, she is billed eighth. Average box office $18,010,489.

I’m not excited about that [scil., "crossing the aisle"] at all. Democrats make that mistake all the time. The DLC is responsible. They think it’s prudent to pander to the least among us – which would be conservatives. And it’s a very vocal minority. They’re just the squeakiest wheel so they get greased.

When Obama tries to “reach across the aisle,” it’s a fool’s errand. They will never be bipartisan because their ideology won’t allow for it. So I don’t know why Obama is doing things like taking reproduction justice [!] out of the stimulus package. Stuff like that is just nonsensical.

... And since it is clear and has been clear since Reagan that the republicans, the "conservatives" will NEVER play ball…NEVER…f*ck um.

Their policies have destroyed us and most of the world – that’s a fact not an opinion. Their policies of deregulation, pre-emptive strikes, unmitigated support for Israel [the Jooos!] to the detriment of the Israelis, Palestinian’s, Americans, the British. Every single policy that "conservative republicans" have put forth since Reagan has destroyed us. And we affect most of the world, so why do they still get a say? That’s what blows my mind. It’s almost like self-flagellation [this has been amended, it originally read self-flatuation] or masochism in some way. We keep going to that portion. They are NEVER going to compromise. The thing is that the more you give in to something like that, the more they take advantage.

The reason a person is a conservative republican is because something is wrong with them. Again, that’s science – that’s neuroscience. You cannot be well adjusted, open-minded, pluralistic, enlightened and be a republican. It’s counter-intuitive. And they revel in their anti-intellectualism. They revel in their cruelty.

I don’t know if you heard me talking to Jenny a while ago, but I was saying that first you have to be an asshole and then comes the conservatism. You gotta be a dick to cleave onto their ideology.

On Sarah Palin:

Probably what most people think about Sarah Palin. She’s small-minded and mean-spirited. It has nothing to do with gender — I don’t give a shit about her gender — she is what the Republican Party has become: obstructionist, contrarians, small-minded, all of these things. She just happens to be attractive.

It is not unkind to point out Ms. Garofalo is not attractive. Unattractive women seem particularly piqued by Ms. Palin's looks. For examples, see here and here.

There’s definitely something wrong with her. She’s lacking in so many areas. Of course she’s successful with a segment of the country because she represents that lesser segment of the country. It’s people’s lesser nature – their human frailty. You know whatever’s wrong with them is what she is about.

On the scientific basis for conservatism:

It really is neuroscience. I truly believe that it has something to do with their limbic brain. I really believe that some people’s limbic brain dominates more than others. Our limbic brain controls all our emotions and it causes us to be irrational. Our limbic brain goes into action when we’re ecstatic, frightened, when we’re having sex. I really believe that if a neuroscientist examined the brain of somebody who identified as a conservative, they would find it’s wired differently.

Breathtaking in the sheer smugness of her pronouncements -- the grasp of interchangeable anatomy, the historical absolutisms, the hitherto unsuspected neural basis for political affiliation. The ebullience of the unbridled jackass.

Posted by Damian at February 14, 2009 11:45 PM