February 26, 2013
NYC Letter: Joe Biden Is An Idiot XXVI Redux -- "Buy A Shotgun. Buy A Shotgun."
Day 1,493 of CHOPE
D-minus 1,426 Days
Listen up, Ladies.
If you want to protect yourself, get a double-barrel shotgun. Have the shells, a 12-gauge shotgun -- And I promise you, as I told my wife -- we live in area that's wooded and is somewhat secluded -- I said, "Jill, if there's ever a problem, just walk out on the balcony here, walk out, put that double-barrel shotgun and fire two blasts outside the house." I promise you whoever's coming in is not gon -- You don't need an AR-15. It's harder to aim, it's harder to use and in fact, you don't need 30 rounds to protect yourself. Buy a shotgun. Buy a shotgun.
Here's what that advice looks like in practice.
"I PROMISE YOU WHOEVER'S COMING IN IS NOT GON -- "
[Picture source: TypicalWhitePerson/YouTube]
This sort of insight into what's best for wimmens is why the wimmens find him so
"I promise you whoever's coming in is not gon -- " "Not gon" what?
* So finds Wonkette Rebecca Schoenkopf:
Wonkers, until now were your panties too dry? Well Old Handsome Joe Biden is from the government, and he’s here to help.Posted by Damian at February 26, 2013 10:00 PM
We mean, we are aware that we have a thing for daddies (and also of all internet traditions), but look at this motherfucking Silver Fox in his spanking new official portrait, and the smile, and the eyes. Those kind eyes. Those eyes that chain us to him, hyp-no-tized, like Kaa, the snake in The Jungle Book except that (sadly) he does not want to eat us. We are purring at you, Old Handsome Joe. We are a kitten without a whip.
Perhaps you are not gay for Old Handsome Joe. We suggest, if that is the case, that you go back under your WeaselZippers rock and leave us here, in our bunk, unmolested.